Unlearning takes time. Yet in a couple of hours, I had trained myself to look at the enormous screen that blocked my view to the stage. I caught myself many times standing and looking around it, still searching for the full proscenium picture and cleaning it that way. It’s a mistake: our piece is designed for a digital audience, so cleaning the shots is what I had to do. Refocused on a screen that showed me four different shots of the same second.

Enters the camera director, ready to command the two days assigned for video capture. Daniel has been in many rehearsals, and we have talked a lot about what is it that I’m looking for: the story I want to tell in each vignette. A new field to explore, to balance what I see with what I want to see. As I said, my screen has four camera shots: Cameras 1 and 3 are stationed right and left in Row F. Great for close ups and cross shooting. My favorite shots are always in these cameras. Camera 2 is on a dolly, quite close to stage; it’s operated mechanically and allows everything to float. Camera four is a wide-open shot from row J, the one that captures full views.

Enters the editor. Ben will now choose from all the material taped. 2 takes, four cameras, 8 takes. I’m sure he has a trained eye to understand what shots to use. And I wonder how he organizes such a large amount of equivalent information. He is really the architect of the final product.

I know how to guide the eye of the audience on a live spectacle. Live shows depend on performers and how they deliver each performance. They will never be the same. It’s part of the excitement. Here, they will freeze in time. The editor will not let “upstaging” happen. Now, even before the show “opens”, it’s not on my desk anymore. A very strange sensation. The waiting game begins, and I will see the first edition soon… and then, four shots will be once more, one.

15 pieces made the final cut, 14 of them and an epilogue. In number 13, the torero won’t make it. Number 12 will surprise you. 11 days of rehearsals. 10 am was always the time to begin. 9 solo pieces for Ana María. Number 8 was number 6 and number 6 was number 9- the changes that happen while we keep tweaking the final order. Carceleras has always been the center, always number 7. 6 hours a day of rehearsal. 5 amazing pieces for the hour. 4 different aspects of flamenco dance exposed. 3 Ensemble pieces. 2 works accompanied by guitar only. 1 show. One last rehearsal to think and polish. 2 days of video capture. 3 more days in Houston. Many reasons to come back.

And so, though this list may not make sense to you, it is the list which marks many decisions. How we balance things, and how we feel them. I finish my last rehearsal knowing that it’s not in my hands any more. But we have a great product: a wide selection of pieces that show the many aspects of the peninsula. A great way to try their flavors. 15 small jewels we hope will let your imagination fly and fall in love with Spain and its people…23:14… time to stop and rest. Tomorrow will be a special day.

Translations. How do we say what we want to say with the languages we have at hand? Music will talk to us without words. My ears hear fear and mystery in early music; joy and lightness of being in baroque, and the wonders of the world in classical music. Of course, Sturm und Drang in romantic repertoire and the questions and voices that raised their opposition to the wars and destruction of the 20th century.

Some composers paired themselves with librettist and added a new layer: if music opens a window, words open a door to any world.

Mirror is understood as a surface that reflects an image. Espejo is an object, and instrument to see. Yet, to see and to reflect are not equal: the object is the same. Los ojos son el espejo/la ventana del alma. “The eyes are the mirror/window of the soul”. The phrases come from a different understanding of the concept, and one of them does not accept the object (mirror). But people use these phrase randomly, as if they meant the same. They do not. The speaker is not thinking of the meaning, and the reader is not savoring the subtext.

There was a time with nothing else to do but to talk and read. No concert halls, records or radios. The world was center around storytelling. And the best story tellers added subtleties by choosing the words they used. It was an artform.

Words and good stories need to be savor like a gourmet dish. With wonder, curiosity and very slow. If we choose the wine that accompany our meal, why don’t we also choose the translators of our readings? Speed reading has become and art; I for myself am a slow reader, because I want to taste the flavors of the words. And I say this as I write fast, not necessarily cleaning all I should clean; this is just a stream of thoughts: a reflection of my work right now, and not an entrance to my soul.

We worked on supertitles last night with my boss. In three hours we finished two songs. We were trying to be fair to the beauty of the text, so that what a Spanish writer meant would be understood in English. Not an easy task. But we can only try. This we know for sure: word by word translation will fail sharing the Spanish flavors…

No mistake. I skipped days 7 and 8. We rehearsed and advanced a lot. If and when you see our final product, you will see it. Nine days of rehearsals, and we will “run” our show tomorrow. Our digital audience will get a final product that will be registered more like a movie, less like an opera. Understanding the final arch will require a whole new process and tools, most of them on a flat surface. So, in our run-through, we will be able to imagine the real arch, and hopefully, no emergency touch-up will be required: misjudging the video element would derail the product. But as this is a first for me, misjudging could happen. Opera in covid time: we are all constantly doing so many things for the first time. No way around it, and so little time to learn about it. So, on day 10, we’ll go through our program and will feel its shape: we need to judge it.

It’s been unusually exhausting. Not because the work is harder than usual: it is not. Maybe because we keep exploring the unknown, with half the usual support. There is a constant feeling of wide exposure, and we are very aware of our fragility. A year indoors has changed our stamina. Administrating our energy is needed in rehearsals. We flush ideas and make final choices. In a little over an hour, we are hoping to seduce our audience,  sharing with them this passionate and magical world and all the identities that unite the Iberic Peninsula creating a place we know as Spain. Each tiny world in a different place, and a small window into so many unknowns. It will be an invitation to explore, and I’m searching for questions, as I do not know the answers.

I apologize for skipping two days – but this blog is just not needed. Saving the best creative energy for rehearsals is. And so, we choose… take 2 steps and jump…

It is so easy to forget that it’s hard. Almost impossible. We see their face; we see them smile and enjoy and we hear their voices. And it looks, oh- so easy. But behind that singer there are thousands of hours of preparation and no microphone to amplified them. That is the mark of an opera singer.

Chapter 1: Marketing has sold us the idea that anyone with a voice can be a star, an artist. It’s a lie. In all this programs, an empire and a merchant are behind the product. They will manipulate the talent they manage – because, yes, there is a lot of talent. They will shape it, pack it, create something they can sell, turn the mic and spotlight on and throw you in the ring. Suddenly, you will be their star. If they can’t sell their creation, they will dispose of it. They will turn you off, and search again.

Chapter 2: You can’t turn off the mic or spotlight of a real artist. The light is inside: the tenacity of recovering at each mistake. The nerves of steel of confronting the audience with nothing to protect them. The generosity of been extreme vulnerable in front of strangers. The gift of giving, even if they are hurting. The curiosity of a child. The discipline of an Olympian. They survive the training, walk on stage and shine. So, we think it’s easy. Trust me: it is not. They are fragile like crystal but manage to find the strength and will not run away in the storm.

Working again with them is a gift. Hard to describe what we can feel when they sing. So, we stay silent and in awe. And we listen and feel gratefull…

Image:@markusspiske

Only the crocodile remains in the room. No socializing. No exploring Houston. It would be too irresponsible. A good day to rest and read.

Gone are the days when we saw the performance space on day one. Safety first, and it requires careful planning for safety, as zones are controlled for tracing, and teams are tremendously reduced. On my fourth day, I am finally allowed to see the Cullen Theatre, the home of HGO Digital– Sarah and Ernest Butler Performance Series . I’d forgotten the magic of walking on a new space. Love it!

HGO Digital. You will see it on a screen, but we work on a theatre, that has been carefully mapped for the occasion: designers, production, supporting teams: all working together but now far away. A lonely stage manager. Whatever it takes, but we keep working. My right hands will not be on my right, and actually, one will be in NYC.

Four cameras, the closest one to stage and the performers on a mechanical rail. Support on stage will be behind new plastic walls during tech, but only performers when we finally tape.I will not be looking at the stage, but at a huge screen with all the camara shots. So many new aspects to keep in mind – and “cross stage left” has become “pan right”. I know I will be engaged in a screen and a proscenium at the same time. All new and exciting, so no fear at sight.

Once done, there will be no applause: and that will be hard for the performers. We techies are used to back stage. But still: a LIVE show is a triangle: back stage, on stage, and the audience. We’ve lost the audience, and it’s hard to ignore that flat line. Once done, we will keep working and editing. And the premiere will happen 2 weeks later. With everyone on their own house.

There will be no main down, and no screams and hugs behind it. We will take a remote and turn our TV off. Silence will follow. It’s a brave new world. Can I tell you how much I am adoring those who have not given up?

We prepare for months in advance. I researched all the way back to Isabel la Católica. Got reconnected with Antonio Machado and Miguel Hernandez. Discover the drastic differences between Spain’s regions and why they fight so much to keep their identity and language.

I revisited my education on Spaniard conquest, understood how Spain is really a “casual” mix of races, religions and geography. School books lie, and history is told by those in power. It has become fashionable to push away the “invaders”, but the color of my skin tells me that I am the result of those mixes. My best discovery: zarzuela came of the people, by the people and for the people, and so, it should not perish. It got kidnapped and sanitized. But its roots are the purest and simple feelings, without much decoration. People, the heroes, the fighters, the rebels, the true and the unfaithful, soldiers, thieves, gypsies, pirates, bookkeepers, dreamers, tailors, bar owners. Simple people. Us.  I have fallen in love with Spain and Zarzuela. I will admit it, in this time where as a Latin, it would be politically incorrect. But it is in my blood. As much as the Quitus. But this is a part of a longer story.

We prepare for months. We plan and then in rehearsals, collaboration starts to polish our thoughts, and the amazing talent of the people we work with will allow only the best thoughts to remain. It is draining, just as much as it is exciting. But last night, I came and vegged out. For the first time ever, I wanted to do nothing. I saw the closing of Dickinson and of Wandavision, half awake and half asleep. Then I slept. Nothing.

Today, after that very normal melting day, I am recharged and ready to tight up and close what has been a magical first week of rehearsals. One more cup of coffee, and life is back to normal…